Crazy Islander on the loose :)

A couple of driving escapades...yes, already :)

Yesterday a friend came over and we went out for coffee (as you do when you're a temporary housewife) and then proceeded to drive around the crazy streets of Sharjah.  Now let me just say that after all these months of sitting in a taxi and being ferried everywhere, it has indeed ill prepared me for the day when I myself would sit behind the magical circular bit of steel and rubber and guide the large chunk of metal along the streets of UAE. 

What an experience!  Horns blaring, dual carriageways occupied by 4 competing cars in a row, a lot of shouting, hazard lights, hand movements, had me dizzy with pleasure!

Now maybe I shouldn't revel in other people's misery and perhaps it would help to not laugh in the face of anger, but BY George it was BRILLIANT.  All these taxi drivers beeping at me to move over so they could overtake when 1) we were already bumper to bumper, so unless he was going to suddenly spring monster wheels out of his derriere he along with the rest of us weren't going to be going anyway in a hurry and 2) the lane next to us was in exactly the same situation.  So what did he do? What any self respecting taxi driver would do, he bullied his way over to the next lane to overtake me from there.  What did I do?  Stayed level with him, let a small gap open in front of me and as he was about to make a move for it, close it again :)  Oh the fun and games.  We kept this up for about 10 minutes and when he finally reached his exit having been foiled by UAE's newest Samoan driver, he looked over at me, made a hand gesture to which I blew him a kiss, the look on his face was PRICELESS!  Sarah and I just started laughing so hard.  It's one of those moments where you had to be there but trust me, it was funny!

That evening, a friend of mine called up.  Her hubby was away, kids are both in boarding school, and she was alone in the house for the first time in 18 years and wanted some company.  Who better to call than me, the temporary housewife, full time entertainer and pseudo husband when the need arises coupled with the fact that I have also started driving; it was a win win situation.  A bottle of bubbly and a packed overnight bag later, I was breezing down the highway, singing to the music complete with emotional expressions in tow.  Barely out of Sharjah a car starts to flash his lights from behind and honk his horn at me.  I'm driving at maximum speed and Speedy Gonzales must be going a hell of a lot more.  Now, the lanes are all packed and it's not safe for me to move over.  Whilst waiting for a gap he starts humping (excuse the expression) my tail flashing his lights and keeping his hand down on his horn.  3 cars later it's safe for me to move over and let him pass.  I forgot there's separate road code for us the commoners and him the arse bandits!! 

The strange thing is that I wasn't even slightly angry which goes against my entire DNA make-up!  I settle back into my lovely drive when 5 minutes later more flashing and more beeping and what d'ya know, it's Speedy Gonzales AGAIN.  Why and how he's ended behind me again I have no idea, but whatever, I quickly move right and let him pass, waving to him as he does so and giving him my biggest sickly smile.  The traffic has slowed down a bit, there's been an incident in the road and everyone is slowing down to have a nosy, take some pictures and generally cause a traffic jam.  The bonus is I get the road all to myself...  

Flash Flash, Beeeeeeeeeep, Beeeeeeeeeeep - but wait, I've spoken too soon because there he is yet again.  He must have slowed down with the rest of the world to have a nosy and now that he was done, he expected everyone to move out of his way so he could continue his Formula 1 bid on the major highway of Dubai.  It would have been very easy for me to let him pass again.  What's a third time right?  As long as everyone's safe right?

Well the road was fairly empty thanks to the sugar spillage so instead I hung around in the fast lane, hitting the speed limit with Speedy Gonzales stuck like glue on my heels and let's be honest, it's not hard to do!  I'm driving a Mitsubishi, he's in a Ferrari!  I put my foot down on the accelerator and I'm climbing from 100 to 110, 120, 130, 140 and like the muppet he is, he's right with me.  Got to love all my Grand Turismo training on the Playstation!  I move suddenly into the next lane and put my foot on the brake to bring it down to 100, wave at Ferrari man as he hurtled pass me with lots of hand gesturing.  The Flash of the speed camera was a thing of beauty as was the crimson red of his brake lights.  Evil I know, but he had it coming and I'm sure if he can afford a Ferrari then he can certainly afford to pay the 700dirhams (£120.00 / $600WST) speed fine.

And whilst he was probably cursing up a storm as he drove on to where ever he was in a hurry to get to, I was driving the last few minutes to my friends laughing my butt off till I cried. 

 

mind the gap on the underground

...or mind your step, here's a new one you don't see everyday.  I don't know if they do this outside of Sharjah or the UAE but I think it's great.  I love these little reminders of where I live.

Jing

I've been thinking long and hard about whether I should blog about certain aspects of my personality  and lifestyle, for the mere fact that it makes me look, um, a little bit on the strange side - even though you and I BOTH know, that I am if not THE sanest then one of the sanest people you know.  So, safe in this knowledge, I'm going to blog a little bit  about my terribly hard life.  

Jing is a Filipino Maid who does allhelps me out with my housework because I suffer from Asthma and can't do any dusting and hoovering and the likes.  I do have a husband as you may have noticed from previous posts but he suffers from an illness called being a man (I do apologise if you're of the male gender and quite enjoy spending hours cleaning).  Rich is very sympathetic to my plight because as well as being Asthmatic, I also suffer from an ongoing case of what some may see as desperate housewife analexia.  My younger sister next in line to me, likes to call me Bree from Desperate Housewives, not because I look like her (I can only dream) but because of the way I insist things be done in  particular way, particular order and to perfection.  Not at all like Bree then, huh?

Now, Jing, lovely as she is, is still no Jubilyn.  Jubilyn was our House Maid in Dubai but she doesn't work in the Sharjah area (where we now live) and she was fantastic.  She and I had a shared understanding on how things needed to be done in the house.  Clean, efficient and clutter free ALWAYS.  It took us time to adjust to one another and to how we liked things being done which generally meant that as long as she had the house exactly how I liked it, then we were friends.  In order for this to happen, I had to leave the house on the days she worked to avoid witnessing scenes that would lead me to stop breathing, such that steam would swirl angrily out my ears, surround my red face, bulging eyes and cause me to combust.  Examples of actions that would cause such damage to my health would be if Jubi chose to use Jiff cleanser over Dettol or if there was anything on the coffee table other than the mandatory 1-3 magazines (all dated the current month), 3 remote controls and a box of tissues. 

To avoid regular incidences of me rocking myself gently on the floor, looking absentmindedly into space and trying to find my happy place, I would leave the house and let Jubi produce the results I demanded asked for without bearing witness to her methods.  This allowed me to believe that Jubi was cleaning, dusting and even placing the the sugar bowl exactly as I outlined on the several sheets of A4 paper that I stuck up on the wall in the laundry room. 

But sadly, Jubi is no more and I am on to Jubi's 4 replacement in 4 months.  Her name is Jing and she's actually quite a nice person and a hard worker.

Obviously it was always going to be difficult finding someone to fit into the size perfect boots that Jubi left behind and although Jing is by far the best Maid since, it's not going as well as I had hoped.

Like for instance, today.  I searched high and low for the Omelette pan (thank you again Mati & Toni).  It wasn't in the Pots and Pan cupboard but in the cupboard with the serving dishes.

She put the seperate inner part of the rice cooker in the cupboard with the glasses.

She puts R's shavers in the toothbrush/toothpaste holder.

She calls at 5.55 am because she can't remember if she's supposed to be coming in at 10 that morning...could she not have waited till 7.30????

Lying the rug upside down and to one side of the hall instead of in the middle.

Recently, randomly placing books on the bookshelf instead of in it's alphabetical order.  Having Forrester sandwiched between the Q's and R's could have serious implications on a books identity!!

And just because it cheesed me off so much, leaving shoes in the hallway when they live in the cupboards, all of them even flip flops.  And not grouping them either...like sandels together, trainers and outdoor walking shoes, smart kitten heels, mid high heels, wedges. Arghhhhhhh.

*sigh*

[draws legs up to chest and starts to rock gently, chanting "candy floss, dymo label machine, rainbows, Shoe Holders, draw partitions"] 

Sayonara 2008

If anyone had asked me what I was expecting from the year 2008, I can honestly say not a lot.

It's been such a year of travel for me.  For us as a couple it's been a year of constant separation trying to make the most of expensive airfares to the other side of the world, application for Visa's, Citizenship, Residency etc.  It's been a bit of a hard road.  You always want to smile and say the best things about your situation, who wouldn't?  I'm not one to mope and get bogged down with the small stuff, I'm the girl who gets out there and just gets it done or says "oh well, I'll get to it soon enough".  But it's not been all hard, there have been more amazing things then bad and blessings galore that I have not given enough thanks for!

I can't remember a New years eve in the past 5 years where I have had this luxury (or is it just sad?) of sitting at home with nothing to prepare, people to see or just something to do.  I remember hurried thoughts for New Years resolutions, lists as long as the empire state building but never a time when I could sit down and, well, blog for a start.  Or really think through my New Years resolutions or maybe not make any at all.  I have no idea what we'll be doing tonight or tomorrow, it would be lovely to share it with some others but we've been away all Christmas and where we've moved to isn't an ideal New Years Party venue, it's a bit far and on top of that it's a dry Emirate so no booze at all...can't see that going down with many people aye?

So here I am, it's early hours yet on the eve of 2009 looking out from our apartment 40 storeys above Sharjah into the fog and really thinking about the New Year.  Trying not to nicefy(no such word but it fits!) anything and really looking hard at the things I need to change about myself.  What I can really give up if it means a healthier relationship with R, a healthier body, mind and outlook.  More importantly, I need to remain realistic about what I can and cannot change and not rush into making any rash promises like I do every year and every year when I fail to meet my high and unrealistic expectations I'm horribly deflated.

So let's go.  Let's really throw out all the baggage of 2008 and just start afresh.  It's a New Year right?  New Beginnings and fresh starts which we're all entitled to.

I've got a list of News Resolutions that I'll post tomorrow.  But before I do go I just really want to say that I am so blessed.  There are many things I would have changed about this year, namely the 5 months R & I have spent apart but everything else was amazing!  The people I have met, the traveling to new places and old places.  The love shown to me and the support I've received this year has been IMMENSE!  So if I can, I'd like to keep all of those awesome gifts and exchange the sh*t for something that doesn't need batteries and comes with a lifetime guarantee.

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE EVERYONE!!

Househunting, Escape to Samoa & Landing on our feet

I think the title is pretty self explanatory :)

No doubt we all remember my little meltdown a month ago, which makes me smile.  Reading about it again and reliving all the frustration and emotion just drained me, thank God that's all over!!

6 Days after writing that post, I got on a plane to Sydney, took a connecting flight to Auckland and stayed overnight spending quality time with my little brother in Auckland before heading home to Samoa.  What a wonderful trip, I may not have gone out much which my friends who are not very happy with me about that but I spent every single day with my little nephew.  I still haven't found a camera yet that I like so all the pictures are on my mum's camera which I didn't copy, but trust me (and my whole biased opinion because I'd be lying if I said I wasn't) when I tell you he is just the most cute and adorable little boy!  For the 2 weeks I was there, I ate mostly Elegi (Herring) and Fa'alifu fa'i (Green bananas in coconut cream) YUM and managed to LOSE weight...how on earth did that happen?  I have no idea and I'm not complaining!  But just so I'm not unwittingly deluding myself or you, I've been back to Dubai 10 days now and I've more or less put it all back on :)

It seems to be getting harder and harder to leave home these days when I go back.  It's not so bad my sisters and brother and mum because they remember me, we email and text but in the case of my 2 1/2 yr old nephew it's another story.  He could forget me between the 12 months or so it takes me to get home again and he learns new things and progresses so much in that time that I feel like I am getting to know a completely new person and that I missed out on so much of the transition.  But I must say my mum and baby sister are doing a fabulous job making sure he remembers his own mummy whose in NZ at Uni all year.

Before I went away Rich and I had a long chat about the housing situation.  We had come out to Dubai to make money and put something into our savings etc.  With the current market in Dubai, spending all that money on a nice 1 or 2 bedroom apartment in Dubai would shave our savings by at least 50% (15K GBP).  We agreed that we'd lived in the heart of Dubai for a year already and done the whole cosmopolitan thing even if we live in the suburbs :) and because we're both pretty easy going and laid back,  moving away from the heart of it wouldn't hurt us in any way.  On that note we decided if we were going to move to the outer parts of Dubai like Mirdiff we could think about moving to the next Emirate(State) Sharjah that borders with Dubai.  The only problems we found were that 1)The traffic between the 2 Emirates was supposedly horrendous) and 2)It's a dry state (No alcohol).

After much umming and ahhing we decided to take a look and see what it was like.  Some people were saying it needed a lot of development and that it was very backwards and we would have to live in very compromised standard of living.  Well, that freaked us out a little, but because I'm such a ball of optimism and Rich is so laid back he's horizontal we just threw ourselves into it.  We found that Sharjah is much nicer than Dubai as in the buildings are all spaced out more, there is more culture out there (to appease my taste buds) the traffic is bad but nothing we haven't experienced on the M1 in UK or in Auckland and there may be a way out of that at a later date.  We're not big drinkers and only drink if we meet friends out or go to a party but we go months of being alcohol free, I guess it's not important to us, although many of our friends have gasped in horror about it.

So with that conversation and the things I had seen, I arrived back 10 days ago and hit the ground running looking for a new place to live in Sharjah.  After 2 days of pulling out my hair in frustration, biting my nails which may I add I had painstakingly grown in the last 2 weeks and numerous conversations of "what's your budget, we will call you back" and no call backs, fielding more than 50 calls and possible appointments we set off and had our first day of viewings.  The first property was tiny and was comparable to the size of apartments we'd seen in Dubai of about 800-1000 sq ft.  The agent was currently living there and wouldn't let us see the second bedroom.  Rich opened the 2nd bedroom door and the 2 agents with us went completely mad and started yelling.  Once we'd left them, Rich asked if I'd seen the gun on the chest of drawers in the main bedroom or the big hole in the door where it looked like someone had tried to kick their way through.  I said to him that actually I was so busy trying to get the hell out of there after making up my mind only seconds after walking in there that I hadn't noticed any of those things.  Needless we said no to all the properties he showed on, worried about the type of person he was and also because he was looking for a 10% commission!!

The 5th place we went to was the one we said yes to.  About 2000 sq ft, it's  a 2 bedroom apartment on the 40th floor with views over the city, lakes and parks.  The entrance to the Apartment building is across the road from the seafront where there is a lovely promenade for walks.  The best part is that it's in Sharjah but right on the border to Dubai so a 10 minute car journey to Dubai International airport, 30 - 40 minutes to where we live right now which is the other side of Dubai before you hit the other Emirate Abu Dhabi.  It was perfect for us, we wouldn't need to get rid of any of our White goods or much of the furniture.  It wasn't scummy, in a nice area and had extra facilities like a gym, pool, jacuuzi, exercise studio for classes etc.  The most important thing about this venture that you need to know is that 5 minutes out of Dubai the rental prices drop by half and the quality of build is just the same as Dubai but the thing is they don't have the "Dubai" name tagged to it.  Our new new apartment cost us half what we were going to pay for an apartment half the size in Dubai Marina.  To say we are ecstatic is an understatement.  We still can't believe it and best of all it's so easy to go back and forth between the 2 Emirates so we'll be spending just as much time in Dubai because it's right on our doorstep. 

There are no strict borders between the Emirates.  There are no guards or gates, there is nothing to tell you that you're in Sharjah or Dubai except for a sign along the bridge overhead which if you blink you'll miss :)  It takes us 5 mins from our new apartment to get to that bridge and it doesn't feel like we're living out of Dubai, so you can imagine how happy our pockets are, how at ease our minds are and just how excited we are at the next adventure! 

The moving company arrives on Sunday (2 days time) to pack and load and deliever the next day to our new place.  We just need to go out and sort out the next important part of this move, our Internet Connection!! hee hee